Holiday Captions For Awful People

Ho x 3!


With Christmas fast approaching, America’s holiday traditions are in full force: overeating while forgetting that gluttony is a sin, giving gifts you can’t afford to relatives you can’t possibly like and, all the while, feeling like you’ve contributed to the peace on Earth and goodwill toward man because you spent $.99 on a can of cream of mushroom soup and dropped it into the donation bin at work.

And so, I felt that it would be nice to share a little Christmas spirit with my readers (both of you) and all of the Google-bots that truly are the beating heart to my blog’s self-esteem.

Feel free to download these images I do not own and share them with your loved ones. Or just share them with your family.

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Misogyny Is Swingin’, Baby

A few evenings ago, half-heartedly listening as an online music station played in the background, a song came on that gave me a sudden wait-did-I-just-hear-what-I-think-I-heard moment. I listened as a few more stanzas confirmed that I had heard what I thought I’d heard.

I laughed and asked my wife, “Are you hearing these lyrics?”

She paused to listen. “Oh my. That’s not at all dated,” she joked.

As she considered more of the friendly advice doled out in the song, she said, “God, I really suck as a wife. I’m really sorry, sweety. I wish someone would’ve told me of these criteria before we got married.”

I gestured toward the music playing. “They’re rules in music form,” I argued. “Rules you can dance to. What more do you need?”

Swingin’, baby.

Continue reading “Misogyny Is Swingin’, Baby”