Contest: You Tell Me



As a way to mask my own laziness, I am putting together a contest. I’m asking you, yes, all three of you that follow me, to suggest a topic for me to write about. My next post will be a direct result of one of your topic suggestions and the winning suggestion wins an awesome prize.

So, why should we help you decide what to write about?

Because I’m asking nicely.

Okay, so what kind of topic should we suggest?

Any kind of topic. Surprise me.

What about gladiators?

If that’s what you think I should write about, sure.

Ya know, I can’t hear the word ‘gladiator’ and not think of an alligator in armor. Is that weird?

Um, no. It’s…it’s very imaginative of you.


What’s wrong?

I just feel really bloated. Do I look bloated to you?

I can’t actually see you, sorry.

The thing is, I ate Thai food for lunch and it just made me really gassy. 

*awkward silence*

So, anyway… yeah, there’s a prize. For the best topic suggestion, the winner will receive a vintage, first edition book from 1957.

See if you can guess which book it is. It’s a story about adolescence, about change, about burgeoning into adulthood during the Cold War where learning about self love is just as important to one’s survival as learning to duck and cover.

If you guessed On The Road, you were wrong. Like, way off. So wrong, in fact, that it makes me question whether you’ve even read On The Road. I mean, show me one page where Sal Paradise goes through a duck and cover drill. You can’t, can you? Of course not! You know what, maybe you should just leave. Things are just awkward between us, now.

For the rest of you, the book that one of you will be winning is Growing Up and Liking It, a young woman’s guide to “growing up” and “changing”. Tina Fey writes about it in her book Bossy Pants and it personally helped me through some difficult and confusing times. Need a taste? Here ya go:

I’ll pick a winner on Friday. Come Friday evening, one of you will be able to hold your head high in public, confident that not only have you grown up, but you liked it.

Of course, I would be thrilled if the winner actually blogs a book review of Growing Up and Liking It, but it is not required so it will be required… Whatever, it’s optional.

At the sound of crickets and dead air, write your suggestion in the comments.


27 thoughts on “Contest: You Tell Me”

  1. The internet take over by cats. As in, how the internet has been taken over by cats. You see? Cats. Cats cats cats? Cats.


    1. Let me guess, your cat forced you to write that, didn’t he? You don’t have to answer, Jenn. If you are being held against your will by your cat, just type the words ‘Alan Alda is a different Hawkeye than Jeremy Renner’s character’ and I’ll send help.


  2. I like springfieldfem’s idea because I love cats and they really have taken over the Internet (“I can haz whol Internet??”). But I also like Shutzpapa’s idea very much. And I’m having trouble thinking of a good idea of my own for you, sorry.


  3. When I run out of ideas I do confessions of past transgressions against siblings, co workers, whatever. It’s always good for a laugh. I have no shame.


    1. While I can’t recall any one incident off-hand, I don’t doubt that at some point or another I committed a transgression against one of your siblings, co-workers or whatever. Maybe you’re right, though. Maybe a lengthy apology to them would be good.

      This is actually a good idea. Thanks, Sheena. 🙂


  4. Sorry but this lame. Fail. U can write about how no one cares about your contest tho.


  5. Wow. Katy is a real B-I-T-C-H.

    How about you write about roommate situations gone very wrong? With honorable mention of the fish in the heating vent, please.


    1. Fish in the heating vent? Why, whatever are you talking about, anonymous person on the internet whom I’ve never met in real life? I would never do something like that. *wink*


  6. Hey!!!!! That’s MY book Mike!!!! You stole MY book???? Creepy. Boys usually have Playboy mags that they steal…… my weird little brother stole my “Growing Up and Liking It” book! Well you know what? I GREW up and I DIDNT LIKE IT!!!! In fact growing up sucked. STUPID BOOK!
    Maybe you can write about that!!!!!!!!!


    1. How can I steal a book that ostensibly belongs to the world? Can someone steal the Bible, the phonebook, the menu from Denny’s? No. Shared knowledge deserves to reach as many hands as possible.

      As far as me being “creepy”, I have not legally been creepy since Judge Fredriksen ruled in my favor in CA Dept. of Creepy Mental Health vs. Calahan.


    2. Technically, Grandma HAS stolen all of those things in an overnight stay at New Orleans Motel…she even has spoons embossed with Denny’s! You remember that motel Mike? The one I “accidentally “I left your duckie blankie at? Yeah, sibling love, write about that!


  7. I think you should force yourself to come somewhere that you KNOW will be completely awful or crazy. The sort of place you’ll be really worried about fitting in at or having a good time. Then review the experience.


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