What Folks Are Saying

Just a few of the rejection letters, cease and desist letters and overdue bills that Mike receives every week

With regards to Mike Calahan as a writer, members of the publishing industry have remarked:

“If an author is attractive and possesses even an ounce of charm, then that increases their marketability factor and we would definitely meet with them, at least, once. So, no, we will not be meeting with Mr. Calahan.”

–Judith R., publisher

“I can honestly say that reading Mr. Calahan’s works is the closest anyone can come to a bout of dysentery without the sepsis.”

–M.V., Simon and Schuster


“This man’s works can be seen as the epitaph on the headstone of the literary world.”

–Prefers to not be named, HarperCollins


“If this is the pool of talent from which we have to choose nowadays, then I’m going into real estate.”

–J.E., Penguin Press


“No more submissions!”

–The New Yorker


“All I can say is this: Thank God I’m dead.”

–Bennett Cerf (1898-1971), founder of Random House, via psychic Miss Lanoit