We here at WebCom Corp. Inc. International (NYSE: WCX), entered into a contract pro bono with regards to the creation of this site. It was our understanding that Mr. Calahan had recently won an estimated $1.3M at Golden Gate Fields after betting his inheritance on Kessel’s Run to win the day’s final race. A falsified bank statement, an unlikely story and his honest good looks convinced us of his character. Oh, how regrettably wrong we were.
With no other recourse, our team of lawyers is forced to play their Freedom of Information Act card in digging up our client’s personal laundry. The 2005 “accidental” stabbing death of the Tanzanian prostitute ring a bell, Mr. Calahan? How about the photo of yourself eating dinner in the company of several high-profile members from the Mannone crime family? Or your habit of voting no less than seventy-five times in every election since 1996? How about the money laundering through eight different businesses that is funneled to a bank account under a false identity, eh, Mr. Rubio Sanchez? Yes, we’ve uncovered it all, Mr. Calahan. Be sure of that.
However, we are not unreasonable people. These files on you can just as easily return to their comfortable oblivion once your debt to us is paid. We at WebCom stand behind our contracts and our lawyers assure us that you will, as well. Please, contact our New Iceberry office to arrange payment.
We look forward to a long relationship with you and your website.
Jack L. Crittenden
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
WebCom Corp. Inc. International